Thursday, September 13, 2007

500 years ago, in a galaxy called Germany...

There was Martin Luther. This Halloween marks the 490th anniversary of Luther's 95 Thesis. That means that roughly 500 years ago, Luther was caught in a terrible storm in which he pleaded with God to spare him, and vowed to become a monk if he lived.
By way of posting a tribute to the man who started the Reformation, I'm going to prophesy what it would be like had he never existed. This is an "It's a Wonderful Life" view of Martin Luther. If you get your panties in a bunch easily, I suggest not reading this essay.

The Luther Code

I had a rather dark thought that was a slippery slope from the idea that most of us Lutherans Cling to. We believe that we are all called by the Holy Spirit. We also believe that Martin Luther asked God for help one day when he was in a terrible storm, and that the Good Lord saved him that day. Luther went on to become a monk, and later, became the revolutionary that he is known for today. I remember reading an article in school naming Luther the most important person in the past millennium. I think you can make a strong case.
So, my dark Da Vinci code cover up is- what if the story is/was inaccurate. What if the man we revere as Martin Luther really was a crazy person, like we mixed up who it was. Many people believe a similar problem with DaVinci and everything he did, and scholars can’t agree if William Shakespeare is the one who wrote the world’s best plays.
So, what if Luther never happened? What if, in that lightning storm, Luther was shot down when he proposed to God that he would join the Church? Would the reformation ever have happened? I’m not sure you realize there are tons of implications of this.

Luther's Written Influence

Luther went a little crazy toward the end of his life, and made some anti-Semitic comments that later pushed Carl Marx to write some nasty things about them, which convinced German society to elect a crazy person as a leader. He, in turn, invaded half of Europe, started a world war, which eventually led to America blowing up part of Japan, and unleashing upon the world the threat of nuclear holocaust. I know what you’re thinking, Luther didn’t and wouldn’t put Hitler in power. Perhaps not, but at the very least Luther’s message started a series of skirmishes and wars were hundreds of thousands were killed in his country perpetuating German separation between religions. Furthermore, Luther put Germany on the map. He started a movement that made Germans get into the mind set that they were superior as race. It was Luther- a German- who realized and talked out against all the evils of the Roman Catholic Church (I’m tired of writing this out, from here on, the RCC). The thinkers who came after Luther, such as Kant and Marx, were able to get notoriety impart of the reformation started by Luther.

Ok, so maybe that series of events was a little much for you. Maybe you think it is wrong for me to blame Luther for WWII. Keep in mind that I’m only suggesting that the events that follow Luther led to such a thing, not that Luther himself is to blame. In a conversation with a recent friend of mine, Martin Hesse, who is a graduate student and a native German, I was pointed in a new direction with my ridiculous theory. He claimed that without Luther, there might not have been a World War I. Germany wouldn’t have gone into recession without so much death within it’s own country, and thus, the war wouldn’t have escalated.
If you think this is such a dumb notion, why are you still reading this?
What’s also important, and I can make a stronger case for, is what would have happened in the RCC without Luther? Sure, there would have been some reform, but when? And what would it lead to? I have prepared two options for you, one involving a split.

Option A

There is no split and the RCC keeps going unimpeded by the word protestant. I think eventually they figure out that they need to change.

Quick History Lesion: The Thirty Years War
There was a lot of war in the early part of the 17th century. As I mentioned before, hundreds of thousands of Germans fought in a peasants war, sort of a way of sticking it to the man who was lord over both church and state. There were religious skirmishes all over Europe, leading to the Thirty Years war in which the Catholic Habsburgs (Austrians) verses the Protestants. Toward the end of the war, the French Catholics helped the protestants turn the tide. This was a back-breaking blow for the Roman Catholics because it was Catholics against each other. Since the Habsburgs were backed by the RCC, and since they lost, the RCC also lost, and had to sign the treaty called the Peace of Westfallia, in which the RCC had to recognize the Peace of Augsburg from 1555, that says that each prince can determine the religion that is right for them, and for their people. The head of the RCC, Pope Innocent the 10th, refused to admit defeat saying that the treaty was null and void. You’d be pissed too if you had just lost half of your membership.
Without the protestant movement, I believe this war still goes on. As an optimist, I’m going to say that without Luther in his time and place, that the RCC would have realized its bad business policies here and changed some things. So, perhaps instead of a new church there would be a revived one. If not, there would most definitely be a split among the nations. Then maybe we’d be ready for someone else to step up and lead a reformation.

Option B

Without Luther the door would be open for a new, different reformer.

Some people have suggested to me that were it not for Luther, that nearly a few years later someone else, say, John Calvin would have stepped up to the plate and started a new church. Wikipedia says this about Calvin, “While Reformers such as John Huss and Martin Luther may be seen as somewhat original thinkers that began a movement, Calvin was a great logician and systematizer of that movement, but not an innovator in doctrine.” No, I don’t believe that Calvin stands up to Papal authority in Geneva without his famous predecessor. John Huss, the other man mentioned as a reformer, lived 100 years before Luther and was excommunicated and burned at the stake. He was a pioneer, but he wasn’t the reformer that broke the camel’s back. So then, who? My guess is it would have been someone who is realitively unknown, sort of a Rosa Parks, right time, right place. My point is, without Luther nailing the 95 thesis in 1517, 2007 looks a whole lot different. Luther and Gutenberg changed the face of religion with putting the scripture in the hands on the common folk, in a language they could understand. Without Luther, there would be no King James Bible in 1611, and to this day maybe all bibles are still in dead languages. You have to understand, in Luther’s day most people considered changing the bible into a lesser language blasphemy, so someone as crazy as Luther would have to do it first. Who might that be, you ask? I’ve have an answer but you’re not going to like it.

Henry the VIII I am

Henry VIII comes into power around 1509. By 1533 (16 years after Luther’s 95 thesis) he had been excommunicated for divorcing his wife and starting the Church of England. Would he have been able to start the Church of England as easily without Luther? Absolutely not. But this man was determined to dump his wife, and Thomas Moore wasn’t going to let him without a new church. So, push comes to shove and England becomes the stronghold against the RCC, then dares the Pope to come after him.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that Henry the VIII doesn’t stand up to the pope, Ann Bolyn keeps her head, and England Stays Catholic. Here’s where this disturbing “what if” hits home.

America the Beautiful?

We are a protestant stronghold. Our country was founded by religious fanatics tired of religious persecution, who were seeking a new place to practice a new religion. Without a new religion, would all those people have left Europe? I think not. The only reason that people felt compelled to come to America to find religious freedom is because of the reformation.
So, who would have come to America? I think it would be the English primarily, and eventually enough of England would be here for the people to justify actual representation in English parliament, therefore eliminating a revolutionary war. There’d be no constitution, no declaration of independence, no democracy. We’d still be under British rule. Sound ridiculous? Without a desire to get away from religious persecution, the colonies wouldn’t be so filled with visionaries and separatists. We’d all be from merry old England, and our entire country would be known as New England. Furthermore, we’d all still be catholic. The Church of England wouldn’t have happened, because there was no split from the Catholic church.
So, now as I sit in my apartment with my wife, I’m contemplating what life would be like if I was catholic and felt called to ministry. I can tell you this, I wouldn’t be married. I’d be another celibate priest. Theology wouldn’t be about asking why and how, it would be asking when the order came passed down from the pope and what I’m supposed to do about it.
America would never have become rebellious, spoiled, and capitalistic. We’d all have bad teeth and enjoy tea time. I don’t even want to think what Homer Simpson would be like with out America as we know it, my guess is he’d be like Mr. Bean. God, I hate Mr. Bean. And I love America.

Has Dan Lost His Mind?

If you’re read this far you’re wondering if I’ve gone off my nut to suggest that one well meaning man changed the face of this world so much. Perhaps what I have written here is a stretch of the imagination. But you all loved the DaVinci Code, so this shouldn’t be that hard to swallow. Luther perhaps was the most important person of the past 1000 years. Without him, I wouldn’t be Lutheran, American, Married, spoiled, sarcastic, capitalistic, protestant, defiant, or writing this essay. I would be writing a what if paper suggesting that the land I live in was it’s own country and the land of the free.
If you got nothing else out of this essay, remember that one person can make a difference. Luther wasn’t a political person, he wasn’t rich, and he wasn’t super intelligent. He was just a simple man who went a little crazy and loved God. There is only so much that one can accomplish in one’s lifetime. But we all have an impact, don’t we? Your ideas can mean the world to someone else. Make sure you have ideas worth having, because remember; the person of the next millennium is still up for grabs.

Keep in mind that Luther never intended to start a new church at all, he just wanted to shake things up. So you can’t blame me for trying to do the same.