Ferrell NFL draft comedy bit

Funny crap. Will Ferrell makes me laugh so hard!

The Simpsons and the Ten Commandments

About 2 years ago I was looking for a curriculum to use to teach high schoolers about the Ten Commandments. Then, the idea came to me like God came to Homer in a dream. Why not use a modern-day example of the commandments in action and discuss it. Thus, The Simpsons are the Ten Commandments were born. Keep in mind that I do not have express written consent from Fox, I'm just a simple bible study writer putting my ideas on the internet for novelty purposes and my own sense of self satisfaction. There is a book out called, The Gospel According to the Simpsons, as well as a bible study that goes with it. Trust me when I say that mine is better. Sorry Mark I. Pinsky. That's what you get for not returning my email. Without further ado, I give you...

The Simpsons

and the

Ten

Commandments

Commandment

*Title- Season.Disk.Episode

Description

Quote

Thou shall have no other gods before me

You should not make a false idol

*Bart's inner child 5.2.2

A book writer comes to town and tells everyone to be more like Bart.

Church Sign "Be like unto the Boy"

Do not use the lords name in vein

*Bart the Lover 3.3.4

Homer starts a swear jar when Flander's kids pick up his bad language.

"Marge, swearing is the way God made me, and I'm too old to change now" - Homer

Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy

*Homer the Heretic 4.1.3

Homer skips church and claims to have lost his faith. He starts a new religion, after meeting God in a dream, and being saved by Ned Flanders, his faith is restored.

"Don't you think the All Mighty has something better to worry about than where one guy spends one meesly hour of his week?" -Homer

Honor your Father and Mother

*Bart the Daredevil 2.2.2

After a monster truck ralley, Bart decides that he wants to be a daredevil and goes out to jumping Springfield gorge after promising Homer he wouldn't.

“Promise me boy, that you won’t go out and jump that gorge” –Homer

“Ok I promise” Bart

“Grrrr… You didn’t mean that!” -Homer

Thou Shall not Murder

*Whacking Day 4.4.4

Springfield has an annual ritual where they wack all the snakes in town. Lisa, Bart, and Barry White stop it.

“Barry White, will you help us save these snakes?” –Lisa

“Anything for a lady” –Barry White

Thou Shall nor commit adultry

*Colonel Homer 3.4.2

Homer meets a waitress and manages her singing career. Marge and he have some problems, but in the end Homer realizes that Marge is the only one for him despite Lurleen's advances.

"Bunk with me tonight, bunk with me tonight- I'm askin will you bunk with me tonight" -Lurleen Lumpkin

“Wow. There isn’t a man alive that wouldn’t be turned on by that. Well, goodnight” -Homer

Thou shall not steal

*Homer vs Lisa and the 8th commandment 2.3.1

After stealing cable, Lisa has a moral crisis. She learns about stealing in Sunday school and conviences the family to give it up.

"Lisa, come sit on the couch and watch TV. It won't cost you a thing- except your soul" -The devil

Thou Shall not give false testimony

*Bart gets hit by a car 2.2.4

After being hit by Mr. Burns, Bart takes the stand and tells a half truth. Mr. Burns under oath tells an even worse lie.

"Mrs Simpson do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do"

Lawyer "She sounded like she was taking that awfully seriously."

Thou shall not covet your neighbors house etc.

*When Flanders Failed 3.1.3

Jealous of Ned Flanders, Homer makes a wish that Flanders would fail at his new business. When it comes to pass, Homer attempts to make it right.

"I don't care if he's the nicest guy on earth, the guy's a jerk- end of story" -Homer

Thou shall not covet your neighbors wife

*The War of the Simpsons 2.4.2

Homer gets drunk and looks down Maude Flander's dress. At a marriage retreat, Homer and Marge face their issues.

Rev. LoveJoy, “Marge, usually I don’t tell someone that the other person is completely at fault, but in this case, it is all his fault. And I'll put that on a piece of paper you can frame.”

Humor- Daniel's Hierarchy of Needs

Before I begin my rant on what makes good humor good, let me say something about heirarchys. No one spends all their time at the top. Actually, there is something known as too much of a good thing. This is the danger that heirachys can get in. Infact, without the majority supporting the top, the top cannot exist. In Maslow's theory, as in mine, it takes having your lower needs met to be able to move on. It is, however, important to realize that one finds one's self reverting back to baser needs on occasion. While I'm a humor snob, I'm not a Robotl

Jokes made because of or inspired by bodily functions do not amuse me because I don't find them funny. They're not really even jokes. If Maslow was reading what I was writing here, he might roll over in his grave. Is he dead? Anyway, as a behavioral psychologist, I think Maslow would agree with this assessment. His famous "Hierarchy of Needs" (or satisfiers) can be applied to our motivations of all kinds- including humor.
Allow me to explain. Look at the Diagram above. Maslow has categorized our needs in the order in which they can be satisfied. We all desire to have our needs met in order to feel satisfied. What ever that end point is for you (homeostasis, self satisfaction, Nirvana), the path by which we experience satisfaction is the same. If your physical body is being attacked, you're not really worried about your self esteem at the time. Likewise, if you can sit around on your brains (like I am at the moment) contemplating the meanings of things, then you are in a place where your other needs are being met. You can apply this to anyone, in any circumstance. It is used in office situations often to determine how to boost morale and encourage motivation to increase production. When people's needs are met, they have more motivation and therefore work harder. So what, Dan- what does this have to do with Humor?
My wife Ashley frequently is disappointed when I don't think something is funny that she finds humorous. I'm not easily laugh out loud amused. And I'm not saying that one is good or bad, but one is more sophisticated at least in as much as it takes more detail to make someone laugh. I submit to you (and to Ashley) that there is the same hierarchy to humor.
For the most part, all humor is negative. By that I mean it is at someone or something's expense. Good humor is intricate and subtle. 99% of the time, I am above poop and fart jokes. I don't find Bodily humor funny. It is boring, blue-collar, low brow comedy. Think Terrance and Phillip from South Park. I could think of a better joke if I was drunk and my brain had been deprived of oxygen. The point isn't that this stuff can't be funny, it that it's predicable. It's too easy. A step above that is the slip-on-the-banana-peel-gag. This Physical comedy falls in line with the "safety" category of Maslow's hierarchy. When other people we don't feel for are unsafe, it's funny. Think Tim Taylor and tool time. This comedy too can be predictable. Especially when you've already identified a show by this type of humor, you can see what's coming.
Comedy is about timing. If the audience gets to the conclusion before the entertainment, they don't laugh. If I guess what's coming- no matter how situationally clever- I won't laugh.
Third on the humor list, is Stereotyping. This fits in line with Maslow's belonging category. We want to belong to a class of people. Think All in the Family (or Family Guy for your young'ins). A fat white American says things that you've thought before and don't say. Most comedians fall in this category. Until recently, Chris Rock never made any jokes about anything but being black. And we loved him for it. Comedian Eddie Izzard calls himself a lesbian (thanks T-bone), and we roll in the isles. When a comedian relates to real life- even if it's not a group we belong to- we laugh because they've categorized things in a new way. Family guy's shtick, "It's like that time when" is an example of how these characters exhibit a characteristic that we relate to.
Fourth- and close to the top- of my humor hierarchy is the Character defense of the stereotype. This fufills the esteem function on Maslows. Esteem is based on self-worth, not just wanting to be part of the group, but wanting to be deserving of the group's attention. In humor, it take the shape of putting into comical phrases why we do what we do, as a way of getting others to hold us in high esteem. Think Homer Simpson. "Lisa, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" or "I don't care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world, they guy's a jerk- end of story!" Since humor is mostly negative, it's turning the negativity inward and defending why we're so irrational. If life were perfect, there would be nothing to laugh at. Think about it. That's why The Simpsons are so funny, because they expose their society as a Caricature of real America. They don't need to use any real names or base anything on a true story to be closer to real life than any sitcom using actors.
The fifth and highest level in my humor hierarchy is Self Actualization. This form is hard to master, because it means finding a different result than what comes naturally. In it's truest form, self actualization is incredibly subtle. Like the fact that the Simpsons represent America with 2.3 children- as per the American average. The Simpons are the king of subtlty and self actualization. I'll give you an example that most Simpsons' buffs I know have never noticed. In the episode, "This Little Wiggy" Bart befriends Ralph Wiggum. They sneak into an abandoned prison where the sign says, "MorningWood Penitentiary" This one-off gag lasts maybe a whole second- and it might possibly be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I don't usually laugh at penis jokes- ask my best friend Steven- but the subtly and self-aware juvenile nature of this gag makes me laugh out loud. See- it's a baser joke reference reformatted as self aware. How is this joke self aware you ask? The writers knew that viewers like me are expecting something sophisticated and witty. Fans like me always pause to read the signs on the Simpsons. Most of the time they are punny. This one however, at first glance is a normal name of an institution, except cleverly placed and timed throughout a show that often is non-stop gags. I know you're thinking that this is just low brow humor- and it is. But before you start saying that I'm contradicting myself, ask if this joke is funnier than if I just said the word Penis. If this joke had been on Family Guy- the name of the show would be "Chris goes to Morning Wood Penitentiary" and every 5 seconds would have a revised penis joke based on the previous 5 seconds. If it was on South Park it would be called, "Cartman's mom's Morning Wood" and the boys would cuss until Chef told them about erections. You see my point? Subtlety is the difference.
So, call me a humor snob if you want, Ashley or anyone else. Deny that what I have described for you is an actual hierarchy of humor sophistication. But feel free to think about this and respond in kind. Climb my pyramid if you dare, and I'll see you at the top.

Humbly your humor snob,

Daniel

Welcome to what I hope is interesting

I'm starting this blog because I've been asked to try and publish some of the bible studies and plays that I've written. Since trying to get published sounds long and full or rejection- I'll just post on the internet where I know I'm qualified. Plus, I'd be infringing on any number of copyrights.

I want to start by saying that the people in my life are very important to me. If you know me then I hope you know that I love you. My philosophical, theological, and ideological rantings are all based on the notion that we -as a group of human beings- are all connected. Without that initial assumption, I see no reason to believe in anything. When you are feeling loved, I am feeling loved. When you are hurting, I am hurting. If we were not connected, then why would there be language, culture, and cities? Why would I care what happens to you, and really, why would I care what happens to me? I believe that if I can convince the world that we are all connected then we can collectively start to understand the golden rule. When business executives at fast food chains realize that their marketing strategies are making people they care about obese, then they will practice better business ethics. More to come on business ethics... The point is, next time you pass someone and smile or say hello- consider why that is. Why are movies funnier in theaters? Why are sports games better with a packed stadium, and concerts better when they're sold out? Can it be because we actually take pleasure in other people experiencing joy? I like to think so.

That's all for now. Know that I love you.

God's love,

Daniel