Thursday, October 30, 2008

Revisiting the Reformation

With Reformation Day upon us, I bring forth this humble essay.


If not Luther- WHO?

500 years ago, in a galaxy called Germany...

There was Martin Luther. This Halloween marks the 491th anniversary of Luther's 95 Thesis. That means that roughly 500 years ago, Luther was caught in a terrible storm in which he pleaded with God to spare him, and vowed to become a monk if he lived.
By way of posting a tribute to the man who started the Reformation, I'm going to prophesy what it would be like had he never existed. This is an "It's a Wonderful Life" view of Martin Luther. If you get your panties in a bunch easily, I suggest not reading this essay.

The Luther Code

I had a rather dark thought that was a slippery slope from the idea that most of us Lutherans cling to. We believe that we are all called by the Holy Spirit. We also believe that Martin Luther asked God for help one day when he was in a terrible storm, and that the Good Lord saved him that day. Luther went on to become a monk, and later, became the revolutionary that he is known for today. I remember reading an article in school naming Luther the most important person in the past millennium. I think you can make a strong case.
So, my dark Da Vinci code cover up is- what if the story is/was inaccurate. What if the man we revere as Martin Luther really was a crazy person, like we mixed up who it was. Many people believe a similar problem with DaVinci and everything he did, and scholars can’t agree if William Shakespeare is the one who wrote the world’s best plays.
So, what if Luther never happened? What if, in that lightning storm, Luther was shot down when he proposed to God that he would join the Church? Would the reformation ever have happened? I’m not sure you realize there are tons of implications of this.

Luther's Written Influence

Luther went a little crazy toward the end of his life, and made some anti-Semitic comments that later pushed Carl Marx to write some nasty things about them, which convinced German society to elect a crazy person as a leader. He, in turn, invaded half of Europe, started a world war, which eventually led to America blowing up part of Japan, and unleashing upon the world the threat of nuclear holocaust. I know what you’re thinking, Luther didn’t and wouldn’t put Hitler in power. Perhaps not, but at the very least Luther’s message started a series of skirmishes and wars were hundreds of thousands were killed in his country perpetuating German separation between religions. Furthermore, Luther put Germany on the map. He started a movement that made Germans get into the mind set that they were superior as race. It was Luther- a German- who realized and talked out against all the evils of the Roman Catholic Church (I’m tired of writing this out, from here on, the RCC). The thinkers who came after Luther, such as Kant and Marx, were able to get notoriety impart of the reformation started by Luther.

Ok, so maybe that series of events was a little much for you. Maybe you think it is wrong for me to blame Luther for WWII. Keep in mind that I’m only suggesting that the events that follow Luther led to such a thing, not that Luther himself is to blame. In a conversation with a recent friend of mine, Martin Hesse, who is a graduate student and a native German, I was pointed in a new direction with my ridiculous theory. He claimed that without Luther, there might not have been a World War I. Germany wouldn’t have gone into recession without so much death within it’s own country, and thus, the war wouldn’t have escalated.

What’s also important, and I can make a stronger case for, is what would have happened in the RCC without Luther? Sure, there would have been some reform, but when? And what would it lead to? I have prepared two options for you, one involving a split.

Option A

There is no split and the RCC keeps going unimpeded by the word protestant. I think eventually they figure out that they need to change.

Quick History Lesion: The Thirty Years War
There was a lot of war in the early part of the 17th century. As I mentioned before, hundreds of thousands of Germans fought in a peasants war, sort of a way of sticking it to the man who was lord over both church and state. There were religious skirmishes all over Europe, leading to the Thirty Years war in which the Catholic Habsburgs (Austrians) verses the Protestants. Toward the end of the war, the French Catholics helped the protestants turn the tide. This was a back-breaking blow for the Roman Catholics because it was Catholics against each other. Since the Habsburgs were backed by the RCC, and since they lost, the RCC also lost, and had to sign the treaty called the Peace of Westfallia, in which the RCC had to recognize the Peace of Augsburg from 1555, that says that each prince can determine the religion that is right for them, and for their people. The head of the RCC, Pope Innocent the 10th, refused to admit defeat saying that the treaty was null and void. You’d be pissed too if you had just lost half of your membership.
Without the protestant movement, I believe this war still goes on. As an optimist, I’m going to say that without Luther in his time and place, that the RCC would have realized its bad business policies here and changed some things. So, perhaps instead of a new church there would be a revived one. If not, there would most definitely be a split among the nations. Then maybe we’d be ready for someone else to step up and lead a reformation.

Option B

Without Luther the door would be open for a new, different reformer.

Some people have suggested to me that were it not for Luther, that nearly a few years later someone else, say, Melanchton, a follower of Luther, wouls step up to the plate; but he was probably not a leader in his own right. Some say John Calvin would still have started a new church. Wikipedia says this about Calvin, “While Reformers such as John Huss and Martin Luther may be seen as somewhat original thinkers that began a movement, Calvin was a great logician and systematizer of that movement, but not an innovator in doctrine.” No, I don’t believe that Calvin stands up to Papal authority in Geneva without his famous predecessor. John Huss, the other man mentioned as a reformer, lived 100 years before Luther and was excommunicated and burned at the stake. He was a pioneer, but he wasn’t the reformer that broke the camel’s back. So then, who? My guess is it would have been someone who is realitively unknown, sort of a Rosa Parks- right time, right place. My point is, without Luther writing the 95 thesis in 1517, 2008 looks a whole lot different. Luther and Gutenberg changed the face of religion with putting the scripture in the hands on the common folk, in a language they could understand. Without Luther, there would be no King James Bible in 1611, and to this day maybe all bibles are still in dead languages. You have to understand, in Luther’s day most people considered changing the bible into a lesser language blasphemy, so someone as crazy as Luther would have to do it first. Who might that be, you ask? I’ve have an answer but you’re not going to like it.

Henry the VIII I am

Henry VIII comes into power around 1509. By 1533 (16 years after Luther’s 95 thesis) he had been excommunicated for divorcing his wife and starting the Church of England. Would he have been able to start the Church of England as easily without Luther? Absolutely not. But this man was determined to dump his wife, and Thomas Moore wasn’t going to let him without a new church. So, push comes to shove and England becomes the stronghold against the RCC, then dares the Pope to come after him.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that Henry the VIII doesn’t stand up to the pope, Ann Bolyn keeps her head, and England Stays Catholic. Here’s where this disturbing “what if” hits home.

America the Beautiful?

We are a protestant stronghold. Our country was founded by religious fanatics tired of religious persecution, who were seeking a new place to practice a new religion. Without a new religion, would all those people have left Europe? I think not. The only reason that people felt compelled to come to America to find religious freedom is because of the reformation.
So, who would have come to America? I think it would be the English primarily, and eventually enough of England would be here for the people to justify actual representation in English parliament, therefore eliminating a revolutionary war. There’d be no constitution, no declaration of independence, no democracy. We’d still be under British rule. Sound ridiculous? Without a desire to get away from religious persecution, the colonies wouldn’t be so filled with visionaries and separatists. We’d all be from merry old England, and our entire country would be known as New England. Furthermore, we’d all still be catholic. The Church of England wouldn’t have happened, because there was no split from the Catholic church.
So, now as I sit in my apartment with my wife and son, I’m contemplating what life would be like if I was catholic and felt called to ministry. I can tell you this, I wouldn’t be married. I’d be another celibate priest. Theology wouldn’t be about asking why and how, it would be asking when the order came passed down from the pope and what I’m supposed to do about it.
America would never have become rebellious, spoiled, and capitalistic. We’d all have bad teeth and enjoy tea time. I don’t even want to think what Homer Simpson would be like with out America as we know it, my guess is he’d be like Mr. Bean. God, I hate Mr. Bean. And I love America.

Has Dan Lost His Mind?

If you’re read this far you’re wondering if I’ve gone off my nut to suggest that one well meaning man changed the face of this world so much. Perhaps what I have written here is a stretch of the imagination. But you all loved the DaVinci Code, so this shouldn’t be that hard to swallow. Luther perhaps was the most important person of the past 1000 years. Without him, I wouldn’t be Lutheran, American, Married, spoiled, sarcastic, capitalistic, protestant, defiant, or writing this essay. I would be writing a 'what if' paper suggesting that the land I live in was it’s own country and the land of the free.
If you got nothing else out of this essay, remember that one person can make a difference. Luther wasn’t a political person, he wasn’t rich, and he wasn’t super intelligent. He was just a simple man who went a little crazy and loved God. There is only so much that one can accomplish in one’s lifetime. But we all have an impact, don’t we? Your ideas can mean the world to someone else. Make sure you have ideas worth having, because remember; the person of the next millennium is still up for grabs.

Keep in mind that Luther never intended to start a new church at all, he just wanted to shake things up. So you can’t blame me for trying to do the same.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Seminary

PLTS is an exciting place. I live in an apartment building in the heart of Berkeley, with 38 other seminarians and their roommates. Having now been here a month, I have become accustomed to living this lifestyle. I enjoy eating organic fruits and veggies, growing our own strawberries, taking in the view of the Golden gate, and starting a conversation with anyone I see.
I love the idea of this place. The spirit of PLTS is universally joyful. A midst of this happy life-style, there are some things that are bugging me.

1. Nobody's perfect. It sounds so simple, but ever since I got here I've been putting everyone else here up on a pedestal. There is something magical about people who are giving up their lives to go to seminary. And yet, I keep stupidly being reminded that these people aren't perfect. We gossip, we slack off, and we annoy each other. I found myself slowly slipping into judgment about people. I am not a judgemental person, so I was quite surprised when I started making assumptions about others. It's really weird. I know that I rarely make a good first impression, so I find it odd that I was expecting so much from the people around me. I really like my fellow seminarians and I continue to learn from them.

2. It is a funny thing- change.
Did you know that people can change? Often we don't think about actively changing ourselves, we just daydream about being different. I feel a change coming over me. I feel like I can be more honest about who I am and what I want. I feel like being away from my family has allowed me to shake off the old ideas about who and what I am (i.e. Daniel is not a good student, Daniel could never learn a foreign language, Daniel is lucky). And yet, some things about me seem less like change in my heart and more of a change in location. Me in a different context is a different me. The beauty about growing older is that you become less oppressed. If I were still in High School, I'd probably still be skipping school and not caring. If I were still working at Desert Cross, I'd probably be talking trash and taking a relaxed attitude about life. I have averaged 9.5 hours of sleep per night over the past 3 years. My point is, I am happy to be in a new place, with new people. I'm happy to reinvent myself. I am thankful to have a God in my life who welcomes new beginnings.

3. Missing people is hard to deal with.
What do you do when you miss people? Do you call them everyday? Do you reminisce about the old times or work to make new ones? Should you tell people you miss them or just let them assume? Should you tell the new people you are with how much you miss the old people? Is it OK to miss people you wish you'd spent more time with? What if you miss people more than they miss you?

4. Faith is really like shifting sand.
Some days I feel like God is everywhere. Most days I feel like this religion is lame. When you spend all day in class finding out all the crazy things that have happened over the course of Christian history, and you realize how silly religion is, in general, it is hard to have faith. When you approach life using your experiences, and you cannot quote God directly as having talked to you, it's hard to consider that a conversation. Do I have faith? Probably. I always have, why stop now? But when I'm really honest with myself, I see more flaws with faith than I do real tangibility. I believe in love. I believe in ethics. I believe in Karma. I believe in Jesus, and the words that he teaches us. I believe in sin. Is that the same as the Apostles' creed? Hardly. Is it the same as what Luther would say? Nope. I feel lost in a world that I really like living in- and the best way I can describe it is that life's a mystery. I'm getting a masters degree in mystery. What is yet to be decided is whether or not it will be more useless than my degree in Theatre.

I don't mean to sound so cynical. I just mean to be honest. I'm 25 years old and I'm quite used to giving answers that sound good. What I'm coming to find out is that things that sound good aren't intrinsically good. Truth is based on interpretation, and love is a harder row to hoe than advertised.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Mind Wreck (A new *old* play)

Mind Wreck is a 5 min play that I wrote for a class final in "Theatre and the Future". This play stems from my manifesto called "Post-post Modernism" in which the more subjective we get (as post-modernists will tell you is the way to go as they bash the idea of the objective truth), the dumber our ideas. So, I came up with this load of crap. This is my favorite thing I've ever written. It used to be longer, but for some reason I have only an early draft on my computer. So, rather than posting a link to it, I've just included it here in it's entirety.

This play is about four guys who are arguing after a car wreck about who's fault it is. I would love to hear your feedback!

Mind Wreck

5 min play at the scene of a bloody car-wreck. In one car, Mark was driving and Jamie was passenger. In the other, were Wyatt and Dan. All four have blood on them, and Wyatt’s head is bleeding significantly. Eerie John Cage music plays in the background.

.

Jamie and Mark are laying on Stage R, their legs in the air. Dan and Wyatt are stage L.

J: What the hell was that?

W: OH. My God! Dan, are you ok?

M: Dude, that sucked.

D: Where am I?

J: Mark, what the fuck just happened?

M: Car accident. Not my fault.

W: You were just in an accident. That jackass came out of nowhere.

D: My leg hurts, I think. I’m not really sure since I can’t move it.

J: HEY! Are you two OK over there?

W: I think so, my friend’s leg is stuck, but he’ll make it.

M: We’re coming to help you!

D: No, I’m fine. Don’t move! You could all have injuries that will be made worse if you move! [to Wyatt] Dude, you’re head’s bleeding.

W: Really? Oh wow, that’s not good.

J: What just happened? I nodded off while you were driving. All I remember is looking at the road, peering off into the distance. I remember thinking that the World was a very large place. Then, I figured out where Bin Laden was. He’s in a cave, in Afganistan. So I went to George W. Bush and told him that the cave’s by the river. He told me that he knew, but he was waiting for re-election to capture him. That’s when the shit hit the fan. Cheney was there, and Rumsfeld. And I turned into a charcoal briquette and Bush and all of their haliburton buddies were pouring lighter fluid on me. BURN FOR THE TRUTH they shouted! No, no… don’t kill the messenger! Then I was riding a bomb down to the ground. Yahoo I yelled, while I waved my cowboy hat at everyone. And right when the crash happened, my life flashed before my eyes. I was sitting on my mother’s lap, then I was striking out in a 4th grade baseball game, then I was on my deathbed, with my ex wife sitting there wishing she had never dumped me.

M: But you’re not even married.

J: Not yet.

M: So how do you know you’ll get divorced?

J: Odds are in my favor. Plus I’m kind of an asshole.

W: Well, since your dream sequence had nothing to do with what really happened, I’ll fill you in. Dan and I were driving down the road listening to the Black Crows, you know, shake your money-maker, and I put the windows down on the truck to get in the groove. I could tell that the highways were going to merge so I sped up and moved over. He (pointing to Mark) came out of no where, hit us, and we ended up as you see us. And I’m pretty sure I went through the windshield.

M: So you merged, and you didn’t even check your blind spot?

W: Please, I have right of weight.

M: You were going awfully fast to be so careless. What’s the matter, your speedometer broken or something?

W: I’ve been averaging 50 miles an hour over the last 30 minutes. I spent 15 minutes going 25 miles an hour, and the last 15 minutes going 75. So, technically, I haven’t been speeding.

M: You were going 75 miles an hour!

W: No, I have gone 25 miles in the last 30 minutes, so therefore I’ve been going 50 miles an hour.

D: But the speedometer is frozen at 75.

W: It must be broken. Man this blood is really dark red.

M: You were speeding, your speedometer isn’t broken, you were going 75, the speedometer measures how fast you were going at that instant.

D: The speedometer is stuck at 75 now, is he still going that fast?

J: No, he’s not. It’s not working now, but it was!

D: If it’s not working now, how do you know that it was before?

M: This is ridiculous! He was going 75 miles an hour at the instant the accident happened!

W: In an instant?

M: Yes! One instant, one precise single solitary instant.

W: But in a single instant, am I really moving at all?

D and J: Oooooooooooooh.

J: Still, how do I know you didn’t try and kill me on purpose?

M: I’ve never met you before.

W: Nor have I met you. What does that prove?

D: There was no motive

J: You people don’t make any sense.

D: Maybe not to you, but I understand it perfectly. We are debating the origin of cause. For a crime, one has to first understand the motive. People like to know why before they assess guilt. In this instance, neither person has cause, so therefore, neither can be charged as guilty. And the causality still remains unknown. If neither of these people did it on purpose, then the event was unavoidable. So the cause isn’t based on free-will. This was all meant to happen. And yet, even saying that something happened presupposes existence. In order for causality to be, forces and people must exist. Just like Descartes said, “I think therefore I exist.” If Descartes is correct, then I must exist. That’s bad news for the rest of you, however. I cannot prove that you exist at all. As far as I know, you might be all figments of my imagination.

(Pause)

M: You people wouldn’t know a car accident if it hit you!

D: I’d like to think I would.

W: I’m still not ready to call this an accident, and I maintain that I wasn’t speeding on this trip.

M: Well I didn’t hit you, I was just driving down the road!

W: I didn’t hit you, I was minding my own business!

J: I didn’t hit anyone! I was sleeping!

D: Don’t look at me, you’re all creepy figments of my imagination!

W: So, then what do we tell the cops- that my head is bleeding for no reason?

J: Where are the cops, shouldn’t they be here by now?

D: We tell them nothing happened. No one did anything wrong. Therefore, there was no accident.

W: Makes sense to me!

J: Well so long as we don’t have to report this to insurance. Even though this wasn’t my fault, they might raise my rates.

D: They can’t raise their rates for something that didn’t happen.

M: Makes sense to me!

D: So it’s agreed. Nothing happened. Everything is as it was, is, and will always be.

J, M: Agreed.

W: Guys, I….. think… I’m… dying. [dies]

M: What’s his problem?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Top 10 Safetys in the NFL

This may not be on your mind, but if you know me, you'll know that football is almost always on mine. I was reading some blogs for off-season gurus like myself, and I came across a top ten safetys in the league list that was terrible. Ed Reed was first, and Roy Williams was 5th. Terrible. Roy Williams shouldn't even be on such a list, especially after this year he was suspended for his breaking of the rule that was put into place because of him. He's not even best on his team!

So, here are my Top 10 Saftetys;

10. Sean Jones, Browns
9. Reggie Nelson, Jaguars
8. Oshiomogho Atagwe, Rams
7. Kerry Rhodes, Oakland
6. Gibril Wilson, Giants
5. Ed Reed, Ravens
4. Brian Dawkins, Eagles
3. Adrian Wilson, Cardinals
2. Troy Polamolu, Steelers
1. Bob Sanders, Colts

Here's that other guys list. Assuming mine is correct (and it is) look how wrong he was.
1.Ed Reed
2.Brian Dawkins
3.Bob Sanders
4.Sean Taylor
5.Roy Williams
6.Troy Palamalu
7.Adrian Wilson
8.Darren Sharper
9.Kerry Rhodes
10. Michael Huff

I'm guessing that he's an Oakland fan, as they are the only team to be represented twice. Sean Taylor was a great player, no question, and he will be missed.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Top Ten DMB

I know that a lot of you are bigger supporters of Dave than I am. I realize that you know all 3,000 Dave Matthews Band songs compared to my puny knowledge of a couple hundred. To that I say, you are blinded by your love for the band. You're not supposed to like every song, just because they recorded it. OK, here's my top 10, for real this time, not 15 like last time.

10. Space Between
9. Everyday
8. Lover Lay Down
7. Grace is Gone
6. Satellite
5. Angel
4. Number 41, otherwise known as "The Police"
3. What Would You Say
2. Crash
1. Ants Marching

The next several are "Where are you going," "So Much to Say" "I'll back you up" and "All along the watchtower" Rounding out the bottom of my list would be "I did it" "Big Eyed Fish" and "Bayou." I hate that song, "bayou" and I wish they'd stop playing it at all their concerts. Not everything they do turns to gold, but the stuff they get right is unlike any sound out there. As far as bands I'll be proud to back of the next 60 years, they're right up there with the Counting Crows. Well, maybe right behind. Did I forget any songs you like?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Top 10 Counting Crows songs of all time

In honor of the free concert that the Crows put on here in Tempe last week, and all the new people I've been trying to expose to the greatest band in the genre of winy rock, I am now posting the Top 15 Greatest Hits of the CC.


15. Hanging Around
14. Mrs. Potter's Lullaby
13. Round Here
12. Good Night Elizabeth
11. Wish I was a Girl
10. Omaha
9. Accidentally in Love
8. Why Should you Come when I Call
7. Rain King
6. Perfect Blue Buildings
5. Long December
4. Raining in Baltimore
3. Amy Hits the Atmosphere
2. St. Robinson and his Cadillac Dreams
1. Mr. Jones

As Mr. Jones was the first CC song I heard, it still has a special place in my heart. Plus, I named my guitar after it. I realize that Amy hits the atmosphere is probably too high, but I love that song right now. "Any time it rains I just feel a lot better, and that's all that really matters to me" I don' think I need to justify the top 10. Most are respected classics. A lot of crows fans I know don't like Hangnin Around, but I still like it enought to mention it. If you can think of one that effects you deeply, let me know, I'll give it another listen.

If you are reading this and feel you need to recommit your life to the crows/ and or Jesus, let me know. Take care out there people!